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LEIA: Finding The Right One

kew, kew gardens, hanami, sakura, hanami london, london cherry blossom, london blossom, london sakura, sakura girl, kew gardens bloom, spring bloom, blossom, blossom fashion, blossom londonSome people believe there is a one. One True Love. The Girl Of Your Dreams. Mr Right. Prince Charming. Little Miss Perfect. A singular choice which rides high above all others. One final, complete destination. A right person, discovered at the right place or time. I have a good feeling about this one – he might be The One. We seem to fit – I think she is The One.

It could be that they crop up unexpectedly; there they are, at the party you barely wanted to attend. The Right One knocks you over at a gig and apologises for ten minutes, buying you a drink. A planned one night stand turns into a gift from fate: there they are. Mr and Mrs Right One. Other times you just know. That underlying feeling that there’s something special. Like molten gold is in the air, shining by the sunshine.

You know when you’re with Not The Right One too. When something isn’t working, when things are going sour, when the rot starts to set in. When you’ve had three months of crap sex and you bicker every day. You’re unhappy. Things are shit and you know it. There’s a resounding voice in your head and that restless need to get away.

You don’t know where The Right One is but you know damn well you haven’t found them yet. Often we stick it out, stay in with Not The Right One instead of cutting loose and flying free. It’s hard to admit defeat, to say you’ve made a mistake. To admit you fucked up and you’re not happy and besides being single’s hard and you’ve been out the game two years. Where do you go to find people, where are the other Ones? The potential Right ones?

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Thing is, sometimes they’re right there. You’re barely out the door when you trip over and there, at your feet, is The Right One. The pain and the heartache and the guilt disappear and you smile down into the eyes of a match. Everything clicks. Finally! I KNEW it wasn’t working. THIS is a sign. YOU are my chance to be happy. Finally. A sigh of relief.

People always look at the timing. Your happy news is eclipsed by whatever came before. My God, the judgment! Oh, so you just got out of your last relationship? Shouldn’t you stay single for a bit longer first? Didn’t you guys just break up like a month ago? It must be so maddening. Shut up! Be happy for me! I found THE ONE!! Look how much happier I am, look how much better off I am.

Timing is nothing when it comes to The Right One. How many people fell in love at The Right Time? Nobody did. There isn’t one. And there won’t ever be. Just take what you get – that’s all you can do in life – and if that’s The Right One at The Wrong Time then you know what? Stick it out, you guys do you, do the winning and do the lasting. Everyone else can do one. Because when there’s so much Wrong to choose from you need to hang on to whatever bit of Right you find.

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1 Comment

  • Reply Alyse

    I don’t think there is a Right one, either. Or maybe they are Right for that period in your life and you outgrow each other. It happens. I see it as the person you realize you can grow old with.

    May 9, 2017 at 1:41 am
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