These last few days I’ve been thinking a lot about where I’m at. I really love this time of year. As previously mentioned, Valentine’s Day traditionally marked the beginning of Spring and my birthday is just a couple weeks after. It’s these two weeks in between that always seem to mark the real “start” to the year. The frantic rush of new routine, excessive budgeting and vast forward projecting that accompanies January comes to a close. The end of February always rolls around quick; the 28 days takes me by surprise, every year.
The midpoint of February is when I start thinking, yeah, ok, so THIS is what the year will be. THIS is where I’m at. The fads and hype and promises of January seem to calm and the world becomes clearer. It’s a lot easier to get your bearings when you’re not trying to daily better yourself in a Pinterest-inspired mind expansion project.
Growing up is hard; we are such a youth-obsessed society and it is hard to not to feel like your relevance is diminished with each passing year. We should embrace age, and it’s cousins, age and wisdom. Instead we do our best to disguise it in rushed bios and condensed histories where the early years are mysteriously distilled. I know this, and yet questions arise regardless. Is 29 too old to release a debut solo album??
I’m at a weird point in my life. The cold days are passing and I think we have seen the last day of winter, pictured here. I’m not sure what Spring will bring or how this year will go, but I am very certain of what I don’t want: a wedding three years in the making; a mortgage on a bedsit in Zone 17; a drinking problem. I realise that I am incredibly lucky for so many things. To live in this great city and call it home, to do something I love all day and call it work, to have so many inspirational people in my life and call them friends. It seems bizarre any of this should conspire to make me unhappy. And yet days pass where I sit awkwardly in this charmed life. I guess the trick is letting the doubts and the questions and the anger fuel you, rather than consume you.