Oh, I KNOW this is my blog. I KNOW don’t have to apologise for what I do and don’t do with it. But here I am, feeling so dreadfully guilty about it anyway. Feeling a bit crap for being so crap with instastories (although I’m very much trying to rectify that, as you can see). And feeling a bit awful that people are spending more time than ever in the Vegan category. Because I’ve yet to publish any of the five new posts I’ve got in my drafts. And feeling so awfully, terribly guilty that so many of you are stopping by to wish me well for my trip, because whilst I normally read comments and check in with others via their blog, right now, I haven’t the foggiest what anybody’s up to.
Why do we do this to ourselves? My blog is supposed to be a hobby. Yet I spend so much more time thinking about it than I do, say, my conspicuous workload, or my upcoming wedding. (Lol no I have not updated the Pinterest board in over 5 months). It is my blog that keeps me awake when I should be sleeping on long-haul flights. I feel more guilty missing a month of posts from a blogger I typically read regularly than I do about needing to postpone a drink. I can’t work out if these facts make me a hideous human being or just one who has truly found a hobby she loves. What do you think?
Anyway. The reason behind all this guilt is that I’ve been stupidly, unendingly busy. I knew it would be a tough five months of three separate trips. One alone, one with my beau, one with my terminally ill second mother and the rest of the family. I knew there’d be a lot of admin between sorting work (and absence from), and budgets, and finances during this time. Especially as Christmas was in the middle. But I don’t think I appreciated how tiring it is getting back from one place and then just heading out again is. I’ve travelled for long periods of time before; for leisure and for work, on tours. But there’s something about going home and stopping and then just starting again that seems infinitely more tiring than if I had, say, just stayed on the road for five months. At least then, when you’re almightily tired at the end of it, it’s just one big pile of tiredness to contend with.
I think an unofficial resolution of mine this year is to stop being a perfectionist getting in the way of finishing things. Actually completing stuff, like a blog or a song, seems easy until I get to the last hurdle, when I suddenly seem to stop. Last week I ran a few polls on my Twitter to try and glean what it is you most like about this blog. You know, what kind of posts are favoured. I was truly shocked at the number of people who said they enjoyed life update posts. 58% of you! What?! I always think those ones are the most boring to read. They feel like I’ve cheated you, because the subject matter is basically me. Really, I’m cheating myself by thinking that way. Clearly, the intricacies of my life are fascinating enough that you’ll want to read just as much as something informative. So, my goal this year is to share a bit more of life. Starting now. What are your blog goals?