We Need To Talk

May 9, 2018

TALK TO FRANK

Well. Guys, we need to talk.

I haven’t blogged in a while because something wholly unpredictable happened. Let me recap a little. When I started this blog, it was out of frustration; I was fed up with being stuck in various situations I didn’t like in my real life and I thought starting a little online world would make that more interesting. Time carried on, life got great, and quite a few times I switched up my blog manifesto. Most recently just two months ago: I felt like my time travelling had given me real insight on not just my creative output but me as a person. I knew what my mission was. What I wanted to offer, and how I wanted to do that. And that went well.

Until it didn’t. Life got really busy recently, and I did what I could, until a couple of weeks back, my views started tanking. Maybe it was because I didn’t have enough time to promote in the same ways. Maybe it was because I’d changed my promotion style. Maybe it was the content. Or maybe because I didn’t have time to read and comment on the blogs I usually do and so those people had stopped returning as well.

When I did find time to blog, I didn’t want to and couldn’t remember why I was so motivated before. This was upsetting; beyond upsetting. I’ve never suffered from so-called “bloggers block” before and I’ve never been that arsed by numbers. But realising maybe I was out of touch, maybe I was a has-been, maybe I was of no use? I took it way too personally and it made me feel like shit. I even let myself get in such a bad place that I did my number one least favourite activity: I started comparing myself to other people.

SUCK IT UP

This is all very rare for me. I’m not an unconfident person, and I’m not normally bothered by views and numbers, and I’m not normally blocked creatively. So feeling this way about something I created was awful. But I’ve reached some conclusions: I want to give you insight on my life and you want to read insight on my life (or at least that’s what you’ve said on social media). That doesn’t need to be really well-researched, intellectualised insight. There is still worth in a short snappy post like this one.

I still have a lot of you – friends and pals and readers and generally lovely people – on side even if you’re not reading every single post. I don’t know who the demographic that’s fucked off is, but there are loads of you around on Twitter, Insta, irl. So hey! You guys are the best and most supportive people EVS.
I think the weirdest aspect of this whole negative blog spiral thing was that everything else was going bloody well indeed. Like, all the other plates were doing so well at spinning and this is the one that got fucked. You know? And I want to catch you up on all of the bloody good stuff in my life and a couple of not amazing. Let’s start with the bad, eh?

BAD NEWS

The News: the news has been bloody awful. Shout out to you if you’ve been keeping on top of things, I no longer have any idea what’s happening because it was simply too depressing.

White People: I actually made a board on the assumption that if you can’t read maybe you can quite literally just look at pictures? (Actually I already had a separate board for race). I don’t know if there was some sort of community-wide memo this month but there have been eye-watering amounts of microaggressions, cultural appropriation and just poorly-hidden low-level racism this last month in the blog world. The bloody blog world!! THE BLOG WORLD JESUS CHRIST GUYS BE BETTERRRRRRRR

Sally: she’s not doing great, guys. She’s really not doing great.

GOOD NEWS

DLP: I’m going to Disneyland Paris at the end of this month for Fandaze!!! I am SO excited and you might have seen me pinning excessive amounts of DLP stuff recently. I’ve been twice before but both times for work. Am I excited to go and experience DLP as a tourist? HELL YES give me tips pls thx.

Sri Lanka: I’m going to Sri Lanka next week to solve a family mystery! You’ll want to tune in daily for my IG stories, expect family comedy, epic twists and turns and lots of views of the “most beautiful train ride in the world”. And also not least because my cousin looks like Thor (who btw is not hot, Idris Elba on the other hand now we’re talking)

Marvel: you’re damn right I caught up on ten years of marvel films in 6 weeks and then went to see Avengers AND IT WAS GLORIOUS

Office: I’ve got a new office! It’s BEAUTIFUL: a co-working space with endless plants, vegan pastries, and a piano.

Pink Moon Fortunes: I started a new business! I was getting overwhelmed with the DM cycle of people wanting fortunes told but then having to chase them up and so I just decided to launch an actual thing. And it’s going marvellously! I’m so happy. I’ve been reading cards for 20 years and it’s literally like my meditation, salvation activity. You can also follow us on Instagram!

New Show: I’m in a new show! I’ll be performing all the muzak for an all-female clowning/physical theatre show in Edinburgh and I can’t wait.

Top Secret Project: I know I still haven’t said what this is yet, but it’s coming on leaps and bounds and I feel like the big reveal date is surely on the horizon.

So there’s a bit of a catch up! I hate posts like this normally but I felt like I needed to compile this hectic timeline somewhere, and also, unless you’re tuning in literally every day there’s no way you would have already known all of the above. Maybe this would make a good newsletter in the future rather than a blog though… sign up here…!



2 responses to “We Need To Talk”

  1. Rosie says:

    Bloggers block sucks, and for me I feel like the longer I leave it the more anxious I am about ‘returning’. I’m working through it myself after being really busy with uni work and trying to figure out what I want to say again. It’s definitely a process.
    I’ve definitely dropped off following the news – I tend to read the BBC website two-three times a week now and that’s kinda it. It makes me feel ignorant on one hand but on the other I’ve found the past two years so emotionally draining and terrifying that it’s not good for me to follow it so darn closely.
    We saw Avengers last night and it was SO GOOD! Didn’t realise it was a two-parter though. The bits in Edinburgh got me all excited but I kinda wanted some realism (yeah, I know – I want realism from a film about superheroes…) – ghost tours and drunk tourists and students staggering everywhere between fight scenes would have made it even better.

  2. Jane says:

    I totally feel you. Blogging has definitely lost spark for me, I find I’m doing it out of habit/obligation right now and it definitely shows.

    Sounds like you have some awesome things lined up!! Excited to see what happens with them 🙂

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